BECOMING You.

We are in a day and age where “Feeling” is more a topic than ever! Our Feelings, the way we Feel about this and That, we don’t Feel like doing that or this, whether we Feel like it or not, we are not Feeling the fire anymore in our marriages, we don’t Feel like going to work and putting in our best, we aren’t Feeling like being healthy because it’s so much easier to feed ourselves whatever we want than deny ourselves, we don’t Feel like pursuing a relationship with God, we Feel right or wrong about it…. Etc etc etc.

I won’t get into the my thoughts about the political-ness of this even though it’s a huge topic on its own. There are pros and cons to it. We not have way more entrepreneurship and free thinkers, and a lot of more widely accepted ideas, thoughts, and opinions… etc… All said and done, this topic of Feeling, is driving our world in a very specific direction.

I, personally, am a person of more emotion than logic. Aka, I’m more Heart than I am Brain. That’s how God made me. Very right brained with a left brain flare. I’m widely creative and emotion driven and yet very organized and run a pretty well oiled business, but I’m not KNOWN for my structure or my logic, or systems… I am Known for my heart… and I do what I do based off of the way I feel in that moment. How I feel about that project or client. Whether I feel like it or not, etc. I run my life on my Heart… and that’s been beautiful but also Messy… I’ve noticed more now than Ever in my life that, even as a ‘Feeling Leaning’ person, CHOICE is becoming the biggest, most important, and equally the hardest practice to get used to. Not ever really being a ‘dedicated’ type personality (because Dedication is Brain, Motivation is Heart), I’m realizing that as my life moves forward, choice is becoming a bigger and bigger need in my life. I think that’s true of all of us.

From the smallest and most insignificant of topics, to the biggest and most life changing of topics… this is true. For instance, Eating. I have always been able to eat whatever I want, and now, my body doesn’t like half of it… so I’ve had to make a conscious choice to deny how I ‘Feel’ in that moment and ‘Choose’ to eat what my body Needs, not what I Want. I’ve had to Choose to do it enough to keep me feeling good, but haven’t been dedicated enough to that choice to make it muscle memory… it’s still a daily choice… How Annoying…

How about Faith? Back when I was a newer, in-and-out believer, I would ‘visit’ with Him whenever I ‘Felt’ spiritual or when I needed something, (just like a little kid) and would soak up the moment, and then not visit again for a while until another Feeling or Need came back up in my heart… Now in my life, realizing that I Need Him Daily, and that this life is about ‘Choosing’ to live in Relationship with Christ, not just bouncing in and out whenever I ‘Feel’ like it… my lifelong method doesn’t help me in the least bit. I am programmed to get up and act when I am feeling something, WAY before a decision or choice that I know I need to do. I am evolving though, as is my dependence on the Lord. I like this one because Choice lines up with morality. You have to have a basis of Morals or beliefs to make a different ‘Choice’ than you would act on your ‘Feelings’, or for there to be any contrast there. God says in the Bible in about 200 different ways that our Hearts are deceitful and even Wicked at times, and not to lean on our hearts alone.

Here’s a big one… Relationships… If people just understood the power of prioritizing ‘Choice’ over ‘Feeling’ in relationship… Can you IMAGINE the change in the world? Even with strangers, different political parties, co parents, your children, parents, family, neighbors, enemies…. You name it! Can you imagine a world not prioritizing our ‘Feelings’… but Choosing to prioritize ‘Decision’ over ‘Emotional Action’?? For this points sake, let’s stick to your significant other… Can you imagine how different the arguments would go in your relationship if you CHOSE to Listen to Understand, and not Listen to Respond because YOUR ‘Feelings’ matter more? If you set your feelings aside and just Listened, how different would it go? Or even if you’re 10 years into your marriage and maybe the “spark” doesn’t come all that naturally anymore, but you CHOSE to wake up and figure out how to love your person in a different way that day… Or chose to acknowledge them that day in a way they don’t expect from you. Can you imagine, ‘Choosing’ to water Your grass instead of ‘Feeling’ like it’s greener somewhere else and looking around to see?

Garrett, my amazing Fiancé (will I ever get used to saying that!?) for example, is the most Choice driven person I’ve ever met. He has just decided to live his life that way! He chooses to work out once or twice a day and be in his incredible shape, but it doesn’t mean he feels like it… He chooses to wake up and shake off yesterday and put a smile on his face and go and lift people’s spirits, build people up, pursue his friendships and relationships daily/weekly, but I know it’s not that he always feels like putting everyone before himself. He Chooses to love me and be loyal to me, and put me first… I’ve Tangibly seen him, in a moment where I was being totally irrational and unfair, CHOOSE to listen and love me in that moment, despite… and seeing him do that, and his choice behind that, it calmed me, and made me rethink my approach. I’ve seen him ‘Choose’ to Love me so deeply, whether he ‘Feels’ love for me in that moment or not… and Garrett has more freedom than anyone I’ve ever met. He is not in bondage with his Feelings and his excuses in his life. They don’t have a hold on him because he hasn’t given them ground or rights over him. He ‘Chooses’ to live his life the way he does, and he is Happy. His gratitude runs Deep. His outcome daily is owned by him, not the results of his excuses that came from his feelings.

(God is creative, who he puts together… cough cough -Garrett and I-)

Our culture in our society today is leaning towards more and more feelings and emotions (which I feel has it’s benefits)… but I truly believe that there is immense Power in Choice, far over Feelings and Emotions… I believe that with Choice, comes Freedom, comes Happiness.

So with that, I am choosing today to stop Feeling Overwhelmed with work and just DO. Just Choose, to Do. Choose to work out because my body needs it and my brain needs the blood to be flowing. Choose to not drink in the week because I need it, and I know it helps me day in and out to have a completely clear mind. Not fun, doesn’t feel good, but I Need it. Choose to wake up and put God first in my day because I deserve that peace, Garrett deserves it from me, and my kids deserve it from me…. I like to sleep in, so, not fun… but there’s something about me owning every part of my life that sounds like Freedom and Happiness. I am going to Choose to love Garrett hard today, and every day… for the rest of my life, and always be working on being better and watering this amazing green grass with patches of yellow due to my lack of watering it in areas. We are human…. But results come out of CHOICE. Not feelings.

Realizing that I wouldn’t have anything that I have today without clear and intentional Choice… Choices that I made and remember making… makes me want ‘Choice’ to drive me, 10x more in the Now.

Make an effort to prioritize Choice daily… See how things change in your life. I’ll be doing it with you!