BECOMING You.

I think sometimes in life we come to a spot where we realize we have traveled a distance down the wrong path, built a house there, planted a garden, and made friends… But when the rain stops and our garden isn’t getting enough water and shrivels up, our friends turn out to not be much of friends at all, and our house starts to sink into the poor foundation we built it on, on the plot of land We thought would be perfect for our home to be placed, we cry out to God and ask him to intervene, “Please God, help me, my house, my garden, my relationships, please intervene God!”…. Something I learned last year is that God is ALWAYS with us, but it doesn’t mean he will fund OUR plans and path for ourselves. He will undoubtedly fund HIS plan for our lives… We often call ourselves “Christian” or “Spiritual” and welcome God into our lives for the most part, except for when it’s not comfortable or convenient. Finances, “Mmmm, I’ll make those decisions, Thanks though God”… Sleeping around, “Well, it’s 2023. I am human and have needs, God will forgive me. Everyone sins. Can’t buy a car before test driving it” (that’s my favorite one)…. Being generous, “I am going to give this homeless man money, but I won’t do it without videoing it and posting it for the accolades, small price to pay for the amount of validation I’ll get back out of it”…. We love to play the Christian game ‘If’ and ‘When’ we are able to fit God into our little box of Comfortable Plans for our own Life, and slap a God label on it… but the second it goes against OUR plans, it doesn’t work out for us. We slap a God label on it, without knowing Him, or caring what He has to say about each thing, each act, each belief, each decision.

So what do you want more? This was my question to myself last year… in a moment of complete surrender. Crying out to God, asking for his favor, and his help in my life, my heart, my happiness, my relationship.

What do you want more? YOUR plans, this life YOU built, this “house” YOU spent time building, the relationships YOU’VE curated that feel surface level and unfulfilling… or do you want God, and all of the promises he has for you in your life? When are we willing to do whatever it takes to follow His lead and find out what He has in store? After it all falls apart? When are we willing to uproot our life and wrap it up in a sac, throw it over our back and say “God, I wanted your help, I cried out to you, and you showed up, so take me. Take me where you have me. What do you have me doing with my life? Who do you have me close to in my life? What are the plans YOU have for my life?”

The crazy thing is, life doesn’t just get easy at that point. Following God and being a believer isn’t about the easier route… it’s actually quite the opposite, being that denying yourself of what you Think is best for you, constantly, to submit to the one who made you and knows the count of every hair on your head, is NOT easier… Your plants may still shrivel, you may still get a crack in your home from the earths shifts, you may still have faulty relationships, because this is our life on Earth… and God is just asking for our complete dependency on Him through it all, not for us to follow Him to get the guarantee of a perfect life. Though, God says “I have plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” and that he knows the desires of our hearts… a God Funded life isn’t easier but it is the only way to a completely fulfilling life.

Giving God the reins of my life, step by step, release after release has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and yet, as I walk down the daily path of “What does today look like Lord”, he is RIGHT THERE. I’ve never in my life been reminded how close in proximity He is to me, this frequently. Daily, he is there, and shows me. Weekly, I get reminders in different ways that I am going the right direction. Also, clearing through some of my sinning patterns and habits that I’ve had conviction about has brought SO much clarity, to the point of just silence in the chaos sometimes. His voice is clearer than ever because of the constant efforts towards choosing to put Him over me. I’m SO human, and I mess up daily. I start fights with Garrett, I am impatient with the kids, I get frustrated with people in my work, I think only of myself in certain situations, I have triggers that cause me to act completely irrational, I am not always wise with my financials… I mess up all the time… I consistently fall short… I am beyond broken… but the daily visits with Him, and bringing it all to Him and setting it at His feet, and deciding to be better that day, I know, has started to give me the muscle memory of Grace in times when I want to unleash fury, given me Love in times when I wanted to push away, given me selflessness in times when I wanted it to be about me. The more you lean in and learn Gods voice, shocker, the more you can hear Him speaking amongst the chaos.

This is not a “Hey guys, i’m doing the right things over here” post… It’s more of a ‘We are all hurting in different ways, we ALL fall short of the glory of god and our best is as good as rags, and HE is the secret to a complete and fulfilling life, post. We all cry out to God, in one way or another, and want him to swoop down and help us. “Please help my sister, my mom, my dad, please svae my dog, please intervene, my finances, please I need this job, help my children are struggling, I really want this house, please please please, etc”, because things aren’t going the way we thought or the way we would ultimately like… We aren’t willing to sacrifice our comfort to walk out on the water, align ourselves with Him and His plans for us… but we want him to show up when it’s convenient for us. Guys! This is not a shame thing, it’s Not a “If you do that, you’re part of the problem”, but it IS a “If you do that, you’re missing out on the Greatest Gift that you will EVER be given and that is the complete Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control that naturally comes out of the life of someone who is leaning into God daily and allowing Him to plant those seeds daily, therefore, bearing fruit on your tree! You’re missing out!” God is SO much Greater than a rescue… A relationship WITH God, and walking down the path he has laid out before you is SO much Greater than having God in your back pocket for whenever you think you need Him.

Everyone’s favorite worship song ‘Oceans’ lyrics are beautiful… and exactly what I am talking about, just going down his path…

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your Name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

…. Don’t go the rest of your life choosing to neglect the Greatest opportunity of relationship you’ll ever receive in this short lifetime. You want to be fully known and loved unconditionally, walk through your life in grace and goodness and make a real difference? His arm is extended, hand open…

It’s your choice to take it.