BECOMING You.

“Being in gratitude for the not yet manifested informs the universe that you know what you desire already exists, and puts you at the right frequency to receive it.”

• Jen Sincero

Sitting here this morning with open hands, in worship and gratitude, choosing to be thankful for the things that are coming! All the things God has in store, and planned for Garrett and I and the kids. All of the abundance, all of the new exciting opportunities, all of the moments we now can point all of it back to Him, all of the celebration of his Goodness and Faithfulness. I choose this morning to sit in belief of His goodness and his promise that- Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”.

I think back to when I was working as a server. So broken, living life the best I knew how, carrying Intense levels of burden, baggage, and trauma on my back… All of my decisions being filtered through all of that, plus the lies I had about myself, and my worth, in my head. Yet, God was faithful, convicted me of my circumstances, and delivered me to a new place. I created chaos there also, and performed and functioned the way I knew how to. Slowly, I felt like Satan had worked on me so deeply through all of my choices and the layers of lies I had of myself and my purpose… It’s like I was a loaded gun, waiting to go off and create destruction in every new place I landed. He delivered me again. Once again I lived my life how I wanted and knew how to, and followed my own path… I did this again and again and again, and AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN… Eventually, much more mature and even slapped a Jesus sticker on my life because at that point I did Love Jesus and started going to church… But I didn’t know how to life hand in hand WITH Him… I took a leap of faith and started my own business and was on the up and up, looked so much better on the outside, but beyond broken inside. I did this for years. The pause in time was when I met Garrett and his 3 kids amazing… and fell in love…The first thing that had come across my path that I WASN’T WILLING TO LOSE for ANYTHING. All the brokenness, trauma, baggage in the world wasn’t going to make me mess this up and walk away after unintentionally wreaking havoc… The only choice I had was to start peeling back the layers and shining light in the dark places, and pull up the rug that I had been sweeping all of the remnants of destruction underneath and give it ALL to God……

And He took it ALL…. And continues to.

My whole adult life, I have carried a BELIEF that I had my chance, and I blew it, and God was done with me… I felt like God turned His back on me and washed His hands of me. There was a deep rooted belief that ‘I wasn’t Enough’, and that I should be ashamed of myself and my choices. I didn’t connect the dots to my daily choices and all of my trauma… I was just DOING. And I believed myself to be the sum of the choices I made.

The reason I say this is that… You give God your mess, and then get right with yourself and what you believe about yourself, forgive yourself, stop listening to Satans lies, big or small, and look forward into Gods PROMISE of ALL He has in store for you, and you just get up on your feet, and go receive it. God does not withhold his Peace, Joy, Faithfulness, Love, Abundance, or Fulfillment for those who appear to be “Good Christian’s” and have it all together… It’s a decision… And for me, one I have to make daily. To live in His truth about me, and see myself through His filter and not the worlds.

You look at my life’s timeline, and you see all the things God has delivered me from, and all the places in my life he was Faithful, and also all the areas he allowed me to sit in the wreckage of my life and realize how broken I was, and that I was Desparate for His mercy and grace… 

… and Here I am today, Married to the love of my life, and the man that Chose me, and chose to love me like God calls every man to love a woman. I have 3 amazing kids who adore me and I can’t even put in words the love I have for them… The owner of a company I built myself, doing the thing God created me to do, a wonderful, amazing, beautiful life. God has been so faithful… but I wouldn’t have any of this if I didn’t give my past, my present, and my future to Him. I still have a LONG WAYS to go… But Gods meets me every day, whether I show up or not, to do the work, and sit with me, in joy or in sorrow… wherever I am that day.

Here’s a good scripture to close this thought: 

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

• Matthew 6:26

Manifest the deep belief of what is coming for you, what God has promised to you. LEAP into belief of WHOSE you are, and what God has in store for your life, and I PROMISE… the net will appear and life will get immeasurably more rewarding and vibrant in color.